Being a new mom is no joke, but sometimes, a little humor can go a long way in getting through tough times. So, without further ado, here are 50 (slightly sarcastic) tips for new moms:
- Always wear a nursing bra, even if you’re just going to the grocery store. It’s like a secret mom badge of honor.
- Stock up on dark circles concealer. You’ll need it.
- Always carry a spare pacifier. Trust me.
- Invest in a good pair of stretchy pants. You’ll be living in them for the next few months.
- Keep chocolate in the house at all times. You’ll need it for those 3 am feedings.
- Learn to love the sound of a crying baby. It’s going to be your new alarm clock.
- Buy a baby carrier. Your arms will thank you.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your friends and family want to be there for you.
- Invest in a good pair of noise-cancelling headphones. You’ll need them for the inevitable crying jags.
- Remember to shower. Even if it’s just for 5 minutes. It’s important to take care of yourself.
- Keep your sense of humor. This is a wild ride, and you’re going to need it.
- Accept that your house will never be clean again. Embrace the chaos.
- Learn to function on very little sleep. You’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish.
- Don’t compare yourself to other moms. We all have our own unique journey.
- Remember to take time for yourself. Even if it’s just 10 minutes of peace and quiet.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for a break. You deserve it.
- Keep a baby book. It’s fun to look back on all the milestones.
- Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. We all do it.
- Remember to appreciate the little things. They add up to make the big things.
- Remember that your baby is not a possession, they are a person.
- Learn the art of one-handed multitasking. You’ll be a pro in no time.
- Always have a spare change of clothes for yourself and the baby. Spit-up happens.
- Don’t be afraid to put your baby down for a nap. They need it and so do you.
- Keep a camera handy. You’ll want to capture all the milestones.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for advice. Everyone has their own parenting style.
- Remember that every baby is different. Don’t compare your baby to others.
- Learn to love the smell of baby poop. It’s a rite of passage.
- Keep a stash of snacks in your diaper bag. You’ll need them.
- Don’t be afraid to cry. It’s a sign of strength.
- Remember that this is just a phase. It will pass.
- Learn to love the sound of a crying baby. It’s music to your ears.
- Remember that you’re doing the best you can. That’s all anyone can ask.
- Keep a sense of humor. It’s the best medicine.
- Learn to love the smell of baby spit-up. It’s a sign of love.
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